我是阿鹵,請聽我說...

FREAK

2010-06-29T10:12:00.002+08:00

a freak.

i'm a freak to you.

i'm a freak to myself.

Congrats!

2010-06-28T04:05:00.002+08:00

finally...
you will be working in HSBC soon.
I'm so happy for you, my man.

another milestone of ours :)

loves.

失業

2010-05-09T13:27:00.002+08:00

我失業了
我的Tuition今天早上正式終止了
因為睡過頭
小孩媽媽生氣了
唉
睡過頭帶給我的麻煩真是太多了
大大的不良習慣
愧
不過也好
我也想停課了
省的我想藉口
只是心裡總有些不快
這就像是
如果我想分手
男方卻早一步先提出這個想法
我當然會接受
只是會非常惱怒
這不代表我對他還有情愫
而是我不喜歡被拒絕的感覺
單純的只因為我的自尊心吊的八百里高
嗯

beyond my ability

2010-05-08T00:49:00.001+08:00

Time Traveler's Wife 裡的 Henry 總是在時空里穿梭, 卻都無法改變已發生,既定的事實。又何況是我這個平凡的人,何得何能?

guilt

2009-07-11T03:29:00.003+08:00

i think we are losing the way we used to communicate i can't tell if it was a correct one or a wrong one somehow the method i use to communicate with you changed into a weird and uncomfortable way i am sorry that i can't/ didn't help you much when you are in terrible mood/ situation i guess i tried to solve the problems for you by my way which i don't think suits you obviously it failed i don't know what are the other ways i can do for you but i really want to help i felt very very guilty to make you face all these i know you will say it isn't my fault but i still feel sorry kind of set you up and not giving any hands out to you but i have to say i felt stressed too as i was kinda in the mid of the parties i have to balance and satisfy all not really satisfy but at least not to piss anyone off and on the other hand i felt really ashamed you may compare yourself with me but i can say if i do the same i will lose my confident in front of you becuase i personally think that you are much more better than me in many different areas as you feel/ i said i am not yet qualified/ not suitable to be the one by your side when you encounter problems/ are noy happy i am so sorry

mom never tell

2009-05-22T15:09:00.003+08:00

i wanna deactivate this blog.
or leave it rotted.
too much things can't be posted.
anyway.
hz is finally back from shanghai.
i miss her.
shall meet her soon.
aii is attached.
happy for her.
:).
jinshanshan is still that far from me.
seem to be a stranger to me.
well,how great.
tn is still that strangely-unpredictable.
wil is living alone.
still.
i guess.
and many many the rest.
are there.
living.
my parents are coming.
again.
happy?
yes i do.
hahaha.
but my room is in chaos now.
mom will kill me.
and my sister.
mr w.i starts working.
seem exhausted.
feel no good with this.
btw.
how do people know they are in love annot?
does my mom know?
she never tell me.
haha.

hate

2009-04-07T21:09:00.003+08:00

I hate staying in Taiwan.
I hate being here.
I hate mom nagging nonstop.
I hate this aimless life.
I hate this this that that that..

Friends, help me. You know whom I am calling...

afraid

2008-11-30T22:59:00.002+08:00

please do not abandon me, thanks.
my blog said.
i've not blogged for long.
simply because i am too busy.
or rather am busy acting busy.
i need time.
i need to rest.
i hate people.
and i hate you.
don't worry.
i hate myself too.
fair enough?
i want something deifferent.
new.
fresh.
interesting.
yet i don't want to hurt myself.
so.
can i hurt you instead?
oh please.
please let me do so.
life is too short.
or rather too long.
i am afraid.
afraid to die.
save me if you can.
but the truth is.
you can't.

2008-11-04T02:16:00.001+08:00

笑笑過日子

2008-08-30T01:08:00.006+08:00

我其實..
不喜歡迷路。
不喜歡下雨天。
不喜歡趕功課。
不喜歡我的潔癖。
不喜歡書包太重。
不喜歡手機沒電。
不喜歡信箱沒信。
不喜歡濕紙巾用完。
不喜歡眉毛修歪掉。
不喜歡窗簾太難看。
不喜歡廁所沒廁紙。
不喜歡女佣不精明。
不喜歡坐MRT坐過站。
不喜歡洗完澡還流汗。
不喜歡唱歌音抓不準。
不喜歡網路一直斷線。
不喜歡忘了買衛生棉。
不喜歡鼻頭粉刺洗不掉。
不喜歡花柚子被姊姊欺負。
不喜歡蟑螂造訪我的房間。
不喜歡夢到不該夢到的人。
不喜歡我家附近沒有POSB。
不喜歡要洗澡卻有人在大便。
不喜歡背M1追債電話被停線。
不喜歡買飯回家老闆菜給很少。
不喜歡Coffee Bean卡弄丟了。
不喜歡要聽的歌在電腦裡找不到。
不喜歡跟圖書館借的書過期沒還。
不喜歡MOS Burger新口味不怎樣。

但是..
我也還是只能

阿~阿~阿~哈!哈!哈!哈!!!!!!

笑笑過日子 :)

獻給我我親愛的爸媽

2008-07-29T08:48:00.002+08:00

生日話很多
一直想說某些話
我21歲了
已經5年沒跟老爸老媽一起過生日
我知道他們很想跟我一起慶祝
那天他們還打來祝福我
要我玩得開心
感覺得出來
他們有點遺憾不能跟我一起過

我買了一條鍊子
老爸老媽要我買的
說是給我的禮物
老媽說要買鑰匙的
我不想
老爸就說買我喜歡的就好
買了
恩
我很喜歡
謝謝拔麻

他們說
我長大了
其實
我沒長大
我還是一個任性的女兒
我沒長大
我還沒能夠讓你們享清福
我沒長大
我還沒能讓你們少替我擔心一點
我沒長大
我還是會惹你們生氣
我沒長大
我還是會頂嘴
我沒長大
我還不能幫你們照顧好妹

其實就算
就算哪天
我說的這些一切都做到了
我也都還是你們的女兒
永遠都是你們長不大的女兒

老爸老媽
謝謝你們
是你們給予我生命
是你們讓我在每一天裡綻放
是你們讓我享受燦爛的笑容

你們是我的Superman & Superwoman
有你們真好
我希望
我的存在也讓你們開心

下輩子
請讓我做你們的Superman or Superwoman
我愛你們

獻給我親愛的爸媽

Happy Belated 21st Birthday to Me

2008-07-28T02:34:00.004+08:00

Happy Belated 21st Birthday to Me

I had a great time celebrating my birthday with all my darlings.
I love you all, whoever sms me, msn me, tag me, call me, meet me, give me gift, buy me cakes, have dinner/lunch with me or wish me secretly in mind.

Thank You My Dears

愚昧

2008-07-26T01:03:00.004+08:00

前兩天
尿急
我進了女廁
不一會兒後
正在感覺舒暢
赫然!
我聽到撕東西的聲音
我心想:
喔~隔壁的在換衛生棉
蛤!!她是女的!!!!!!!

我傻了三秒後........
心想:
她不是女的我才該覺得嚇到吧=='

哇哈哈
真的很白癡啦
對不起
我不小心愚昧了

random

2008-06-04T00:31:00.002+08:00

i don't feel alright.
although i know that tml will be a fatastic day.
we're going to cheer out at chalet tml.
a 3-days chalet.
for we mentoring family.
it will be fun.
we will go crazy.
but i don't deserve to enjoy.
i still have alot of work to do.
like right now.
i am supposed to prepare photos for printing and rush out my assignment before i go chalet.
my assignment is due on this friday.
i want to focus in being crazy, having fun in chalet.
i don't think i can.
went oldies care center today.
it was not a good feeling seeing them like that.
i want to help them.
i don't know how much i'm able to do.
but i'll try.
they give me alot of thoughts.
it's hard to describe.
just i feel so sorry for them.
so upset.
so down.
we are human beings.
so what.
we are fragile.
physically and mentally.
they need help.
they need warmth.
i need too.
another thing makes me not okay is actually.
i did something wrong.
i am sorry about that.
i am too stupid. (alright, i hate this word from now on)
i am always like that.
say whatever i want to say.
do whatever i want to do.
get grustrated easily.
so things always end up like shit.
LIKE SHIT.
i am sorry that i express myself in an improper way.
it just like a needle in my heart.
haiz.

this post seems very random.

muuuak

2008-05-23T02:25:00.002+08:00

juz now i posted an entry..but stupid blogspot got error.
that was a long post..haiz...i lazy to type again.

anyway the entire post is about mentoring,
and the main msg is

main comm, i love u all!!muuuak

the rest you all juz use ur imagination bah..=]

muuuak [original version]

2008-05-23T01:54:00.003+08:00

it has been quite a long time never blog in english..
bear with my poor english people. thanks =]
basiacally this post is regarding mentoring,
1st time i tok about mentoring in my blog,
many mentors do so, so i wanna try out too.haha..
hmmm..we main comm are stepping down soon,
i believe most of us have the same feeling
juz like that like that and then like that like that...
through out this year,
many of us sacrificed many things for mentoring,
like friendship, family, time, money and academic...
yea we all did so..
when things go complicated,messier,tougher to handle..
when we getting busier,more stressed, more tired..
we juz wanna stop all this bullshits(?)
juz quit and heck care...
even me tended to throw temper and give attitude many times(ooops! thanks for tolerating me)
but all these are going to end!!!
i aprreaciate wad we have done tgt, we've been through..
juz wanna say mentoring is important for me, i love u all, muuuuak!!

謝謝你忍受我

2008-04-19T01:47:00.004+08:00

我覺得我是一個很極端的人
愛批評
愛抱怨
甚麼事都要給一個規範規則
憤世忌俗
不關自己的是看到了也要念上個老半天
永遠覺得自己是對的
自己看的角度好像都沒錯似的
卻很少從別的角度或人家的立場看事情
而且我還常常沒來由的發脾氣
只是一時的心煩,忙起來,急起來
我的態度就很差很差
講話的口氣就很討人厭
讓人想一巴掌下去讓這死女人閉嘴
還有
我又很固執
事情總喜歡用我自己的方式去處理
一但不照我的意思走
我得脾氣就又來了
還有還有
我的藉口很多
死不認錯
永遠不低頭
另外
我總愛依賴人
認為別人幫我像是理所當然
我會感激
卻會習慣
不知不覺就一直靠別人了
總之
我真是一個很難相處的人
辛苦了我周遭的人
他們時常要應付我,滿足我或忍讓我
謝謝你們還肯跟我相處
(還是你們要忍無可忍了?搞不好有些人已經離我而去了)
我想跟你們說聲對不起
辛苦了
謝謝你,你,你,你...
謝謝每一個曾經忍受我的人
對不起每一個被我帶來困擾的人
我會試圖改掉這些爛個性
可是我覺得真的很難
我會慢慢努力
如果你們還想繼續好心
那就勞煩再默默的忍受一下吧
因為雖然我的個性很爛
可是我還是一個善良的人

特別銘謝 SPECIALLY THANKS TO:
yating,tangna,weiyi,weijie,chunren,sue,hengzi,valence and 我親愛的拔麻跟妹妹..

2nd anniversary

2008-04-18T03:43:00.006+08:00

happy 2nd anniversary :)

鄉愁

2008-04-09T17:31:00.002+08:00

很久沒回家了
我還記得
台灣的一切
好歹我也在那土生土長了16年
有些東西不是記憶裡的哪些哪些
是氣味
台灣的氣味(不是臭的)
那是一個氣氛
是感覺

最近常下雨
我下班走回家的陸上
由於工作地點位於市中心
下班時正值交通的尖峰時期
那天下著陰雨
濕鹿鹿的馬路上轎車來來往往
車燈的光線經路上積水的反射
我喜歡
看著幕夜的車燈
很有台灣的感覺
那一瞬間
我就好像置身於北台灣的傍晚
雖然只有一瞬間而已
可是我笑了

咦?是鄉愁嗎???

LAST EPISODE

2008-03-24T18:10:00.002+08:00

-LAST EPISODE-
I
used
millions
of
means
to
torture
you
in
my
dreams
and
I
looked
at
your
pathetic
face.

I smiled.

The world smiled.

It's your life.
My drama.

EMO Mode

2008-03-07T04:28:00.002+08:00

alright..i am here to emo..so let me emo now.
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okay end of emo.

I am really upset now.
no one to talk to, better not to talk to ppl oso...
i do manicure when i am moody usually.
then i did it few days ago...this is another story already..
in short,
i was abit stressed coz i couldn't complete my itp work.
hence, i sms many of my frenz, i got alot replies n finally felt better.
but then i was still emo, so i did manicure.
till today...
on the way to have my lunch, an ang-mo stopped me and remove e manicure on one of my fingers....she is a seller of manicure kit,so blah blah blah....she talked alot and of coz i rejected (the kit is $50+ man!!)
so the conclusion is....one of my manicure ganna removed!!!!!

again as i said, i do manicure when i am emo, but i never do that on ONE finger only before!!!!
so now i have no idea to switch off this emo mode.

seriously this is a miserable night to me.

陌生人

2008-02-28T10:47:00.001+08:00

你不帥
可是看起來很舒服
我猜你應該是個好人
倚靠門邊
大概只有170左右的你
身型卻意外的好看
是一種優雅一種氣質
陽光時而灑落
你雙頰的細毛變的美麗
左臉上的痣原來跟你的膚色很相襯
你五官的線條從鼻樑延伸到嘴唇到下巴再到喉結
是那麼的自然又優雅
有點雜亂的短髮
夾雜著絲絲白髮
瞥見你的白襯衫上停著一絲短髮
好想替你取下
你的手臂垂下拿著檔案夾
透露出些許男人味
被我發現你偷偷瞄了我一眼
但搞不好你早就知道我已偷偷看著你千百次
到站了你離開了
我站到你原本的位置上
卻感覺不到你一丁點的氣息
原來我才發現
我已忘了你是誰

GOOD LUCK CHARM

2008-02-14T15:47:00.006+08:00

Last night, I spent some time to make [GOOD LUCK CHARM] for my friends who are going to OITP soon.
(Sorry i made for some ppl only..)
[GOOD LUCK CHARM] is
[平安符] in Chinese;
[御守] in Japanese.
(I dunno know to pronounce that word in Japanese lah..)
I made them in Japanese style. and inside the charm got little cards with our wishes and sweets. They gotta eat the sweets then will *absorb* our wishes then will be lucky.haha...

This is how they looks like:

Okay..you guys notice something??
The words [御守] i printed as [守御]!!!!!
OMG!!! I just realised it and I dun have time and equipment to redo!!!!
How stupid I am...haiz haiz:(

anyway..meeting some DDM ppl later..gonna have fun..wahaha =D

*HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY* muak

真情大告白

2008-02-05T03:29:00.000+08:00

實在太令人討厭了
人老了就總是降
最近真是三不五時就要提那件事
不題行不行?
每次只要提到那件事
我心裡就會很難受
到底有沒有想過別人的感受
好歹
好歹我們也相處了快兩年
一定要這樣嗎?
是不是這樣做你才會好過一點?
是不是這樣做你才能掩飾你自己?
如果是這樣
那我甘心為你而心痛難過
降你高興一點了嗎?
但是
我真的想說
兩年了呀
從一開始的
"挖~降就一個sem laio 阿"
到
"我們要 year 2 le leh"
到
"你們現在拍戲幾 pro lor,可是我們會coding lor"
到
"ITP了,降就兩年了阿,明年就最後一年了"

對呀
明年最後一年了
真的好快
從一開始的不相識
到第一次class outing 玩 pool
到第一次去sentosa有四個笨蛋遲到還在路上玩自拍
到Arab Street拍照
到Singapore Art Museum 玩影子
到彼此幫忙亂拍戲
到第一次presentation大家男的帥女的正
到在大龍溝下扮蝦子
到去機場拍飛機
到老吳生日玩吵架戲碼
到全班翹課趕darwing assignment(除了一個人哈哈)
到Esplanade裝醉
到生日蛋糕竟然是我叫很久的Haagen Hazz
到Kbox聽情歌小丸子+高音歌神
到Seoul Garden吃到撐死
到fish&Co坑了很貴的一餐
到dance competetion加油
到無里頭之荒唐笑到肚子痛的class chalet
到Bukit Timah Hill玩健康爬山+拍照
到Vivo City拍很難拍的爛景色
到我家玩詭異的踢腳遊戲
到拍class photo裝死人頭
到送我去機場其實是想要禮物
到跟Faizah辦class gathering很少人來就吃很多的pizza hut
到Open House跟Erwin聊超多都沒在幫忙
到Le Art Impress跟calendar意見不合卻都還是做出來了
到East Coast玩roller blades
到River Raft想拉人下水反被拉
到一起選了很爛的Gems上課都沒在聽
到Singapore Zoo看動物有人一直在搶相機
到Fun Fare玩摩天輪發現原來有人懼高
到搶手機看到甚麼才叫狠女人
到chalet辦四人Birthday Party還一起吃西瓜
到escape烤燒豬還很遜的拿不到大bear bear
到跟Erwin吃了一餐Pizza Hut卻還是很捨不得他
到用donut拍了一堆三八照
到好幾顆頭連在一起拍肉串照?
到每個人都有一朵花的照片
到HOKKIONG production成立
到用low angle看200 Pounds
到Sentosa玩鉛球跟海藻
到黏黏生日去YCK吃大餐
到Perhentian瘋掉
到四灣去過新加坡沒有的生活
到Food Fair吃騙人的食物
到四灣貳十貳少的蛋糕+嚇死人又穿幫的卡片
到黏黏家chiong了一個晚上最後幾乎都陣亡
到Noise看我們的人有多厲害
到幫Leon弄了一個像樣的Showcase
到三樓五樓跑來跑去
到FC4講不停的老梗

其實還有許多講不完的"到"...(至少中國雜耍團我還沒講,哈哈)

總之呢我難得感性一下
只想說
謝謝你們阿
在這兩年給了我很多笑聲
我剛講了一堆有喚起你們的回憶吧
我希望你們以後都還是一樣開心
還是要一起瘋
還是要一起毒舌

還有!!!重點來了...
老梗可不可以別再講了
換一個啦
拜託嘛~

有[東西]!!!

2008-01-31T17:43:00.000+08:00

放眼看一看,我周遭有許多有[東西]的人,每個人的[東西]都不一樣,卻都很值得令人敬佩一些些,我認識了不少人,都各有所長,
有會唱<一追在追>用鋼琴伴奏到很帥的;
有會把拉丁舞跳到尤如性感女神的;
有會時不時設計出WOW的作品的;
有會拍戲剪接出好影片的;
有很會3D動畫技巧的;
有會拍出會說話的好照片的;
還有很多很多不同[東西]的人,我很慶幸可以見識到這麼多說厲害沒有很厲害卻還是有點厲害的角色,
可是當我反過來看看自己的[東西],我卻怎麼也找不到,我不知道我有沒有所謂的[東西],我想應該算是沒有吧,
沒錯,我果然就是沒[東西]的人,我相信這世界上一定也有很多像我這樣的人,可是就是要我們這些平凡一點的人來襯托出那些比較不平凡的人,因為我是[小角色],可是!我也是個[大角色],至少對我自己來說,我就已經是個大到不能再大的[超級大角色]了 :]

2008-01-31T01:14:00.000+08:00

it's 1+am now, and i gotta leave home at 530am later,to see HZ to airport.
So I'M NOT GONNA SLEEP TONIGHT!! and in fact,I didn't sleep last night too,going to make a new record..hahax

I said wanna [change] but didn't do it at all,haiz..

Btw, had chatted with Steph yesterday, she got a nice boy friend(?? to be confirmed), and her bf is a taiwanese too,hahax..(she loves taiwanese I guess)
anyway,she mentioned something,

LISTEN　GUYS!!!

she said:

THE GUY WHO GOT YOU WILL DEFINITELY BE VERY XIN4 FU2[幸福](sorry I don't know how to translate that word)

hahaha...so who's gonna be the xin4 fu2 guy????

My Lucky Friends

2008-01-30T15:36:00.000+08:00

I just did a test,the result is:

You are Sponge Bob Square Pants
You are the classic person that everyone loves. You are the best friend that anyone could ever have and never wants to lose. You never cause harm to anyone and they would never not understand your feelings. Life is a journey, it' s funny and calm for the most part. Stay away from traitors and jealous people and you will be stress free.

see,i am a good friend,my friend,you are so lucky to having me beside you.hahax..

It took me one whole night :)

2008-01-30T13:14:00.000+08:00

Yay~
I got new skin for my bloggy..
spent one whole night just to personize it..
coding again..I'VE FORGOTTEN ALL!!!!
I added the greatest song on earth,some may find it annoying but JUST LISTEN!!!
It's my favorite song,hope whoever visit here will like it.
by the way I couldn't resize the stupid play list,does anyone know how to fix it?
do tag me if you know k, thx :)

矛盾

2008-01-26T01:27:00.000+08:00

窮途潦倒...Orz
快可以用在阿鹵身上了...
最近口袋很空
卡也都刷不過
要過年了
很多東西都想買阿...
衣服阿,裙子阿,牛仔褲阿,內衣阿(羞),鞋子阿...好多好多
啊!!阿鹵還想買香水~
總而言之就是要花摳摳..
有薪水薪水阿鹵剛拿到
重點是!!!
阿鹵還欠人家錢啦 =(
還了錢-->就不能買東西-->沒買東西就很難過年
那麼...
買東西-->就繼續欠錢-->欠錢也很難過年
看吧
很矛盾嘛...

就好像
阿鹵喜歡笑卻不喜歡她笑起來的瞇瞇眼一樣矛盾

為什麼常常有這麼多矛盾要困擾著我們呢?唉...

START

2008-01-24T00:02:00.001+08:00

Hello my friends, yes, as you can see, I have created a blog which will be recording every #$%@ of my life here. I have to say sorry in advance to those who don't know mandarin because I may blog in Chinese in the future. I can only express myself well in Chinese.hahax.yeap..so I shall start. =]