i think we are losing the way we used to communicate i can't tell if it was a correct one or a wrong one somehow the method i use to communicate with you changed into a weird and uncomfortable way i am sorry that i can't/ didn't help you much when you are in terrible mood/ situation i guess i tried to solve the problems for you by my way which i don't think suits you obviously it failed i don't know what are the other ways i can do for you but i really want to help i felt very very guilty to make you face all these i know you will say it isn't my fault but i still feel sorry kind of set you up and not giving any hands out to you but i have to say i felt stressed too as i was kinda in the mid of the parties i have to balance and satisfy all not really satisfy but at least not to piss anyone off and on the other hand i felt really ashamed you may compare yourself with me but i can say if i do the same i will lose my confident in front of you becuase i personally think that you are much more better than me in many different areas as you feel/ i said i am not yet qualified/ not suitable to be the one by your side when you encounter problems/ are noy happy i am so sorry
